The Vengeance Of Jack Bauer.

Tonight on 24 Jack plays the role of Inigo Montoya of The Princess Bride. My name is Jack Bauer. You killed my friends. Prepare to die.

First on the list: Henderson aka Evil Mr. Robocop, shot dead on the deck of the Russian submarine. Peter Weller's character was as competent a bad guy as Keifer Sutherland's Jack Bauer is as a good guy. Henderson died defeated but unbowed. When it was clear that Jack intended to kill him, his last words weren't a sniveling plea for life. No, instead he answered Jack's accusation that he killed Jack's friends with a contemptuous sneer, "that's the way it's done, Jack." Defiant to the last.

Second on the list: Bad President, who got some action with the First Lady in the hour before his downfall. She hated him by then so presumably she laid back and thought of the Constitution while Bad President was going at it. To get to Bad President, Jack commandeered Marine One and kidnapped him. Jack looked Dukakis-like wearing the helicopter pilot helmet and a bit like Rick Moranis's character in Spaceballs, Dark Helmet. Bad President performed pretty well when Jack put a gun to his head, but he just wasn't as smart as he thought he was, and certainly not smart enough to beat Jack Bauer, especially when Jack is helped by cyberspy extraordinaire Chloe.

It's a real shame that Bad President got caught. He grew into his role as a bad guy and was showing real potential by the finale. This season he acted "for the good of the country." It would have been interesting to see an entire season of him acting without restraint, trying to take over the country, and make himself the first American emperor, acting without pretense .

Instead, this season's bad guys get rolled up and the prospects of a sophisticated political thriller next season vanish. Jack gets kidnapped and beaten by the Chinese, who want him for killing their consul last season. So the producers end the season with a standard cliffhanger and Jack is on his way to China on a freighter named "Shanghai." Get it? Maybe Jackie Chan will rescue him. We can hope.

Frankly, 24 is becoming a bit of a joke. Cyberspy Chloe can do anything by pushing a few buttons on her magic computer. Jack's exploits in the field are starting to resemble those of Saturday serial action heroes who escape every week from impossible situations.

And yet. And yet. It's going to be a long wait until next season.

-tdr

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